Couples Therapy
I’m glad that you are considering getting some help on your relationship. A relationship is just like any living entity, it needs attention, love and nourishment in order to thrive.
I practice attachment based couples therapy called Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT). EFT is a dynamic process of identifying your pattern of conflict and reaching beneath the fighting words for mutual understanding. In this process we move beyond the typical argument of "he said/she said" to identify the emotions beneath and express them safely. You will learn how your limbic system interferes, and how to stop and manage your emotions. Our work will focus on identifying more vulnerable emotions and learning how to express them safely.
In reality, healthy intimacy does not just arrive as a result of weekend get aways or good sex. Actually, intimacy can be thought of as a verb. It is something that you do, to create connection regardless of how things are going.
Intimacy is "reaching to connect" and sharing in a respectful and loving way - regardless of how you are feeling at that moment. In other words, powerful moments of intimacy are when two people are sharing to be "seen and known" by the other.
Here’s a list of issues that couples bring to my office:
- You do not talk about anything but household logistics
- You do not have any passion for one another
- You have nothing to talk about
- You do not communicate respectfully to each other
- You do not share your feelings honestly
- You do not know how to fight fair
- You do not have quality time together as a couple
- You are just going through the motions
- You are unfaithful
You each bring your own set of issues to the table. As a couples therapist I will help you:
- Identify your relationship goals
- Identify negative patterns in your relationship
- Communicate respectfully
- Be accountable for your side of the problem
- Be solution driven
- Break down the walls that prevent connection
- Express your needs appropriately
- Reestablish intimacy
- Rekindle love